The Only One...

...that you will ever need. 

Welcome back, everyone, to the fifty-eighth installment of The Late Duck! Indeed, we have passed the one-year anniversary of this blog's humble beginning. I've finally recovered from my wee accident from Cinco de Mayo and will return to focusing all effort to the progress of this jumbled mess of a blog. Much has occurred whilst on my sabbatical. Let's get moving, shall we?

I am rather pleased at my waiting to post on the next-generation console race. Microsoft held their fated reveal conference back on the 21st and it couldn't have gone any more confusing/disappointing. The Xbox One or Infinity, Durango, Xbox 720, NextBox (my favorite) was unveiled to an anxious crowd of people I wished I was for that moment. While Sony rose to the occasion earlier in February, they never really showed how the damn thing looked. Yes, it's not over until the fat gamer screams various obscenities at the "n00bs" on Halo 5, Ghosts, or BF 4. Sony still has the chance to wow crowds at E3 and win the hearts of fanboys whether they be Sony or Microsoft. What I know is this: my PS3 is little over a year old while my 360 nears the five year mark. I'd love to jump on the PS4, but given the perfect condition my Sony console's in, I'm leaning to the newer tech on the One just on the landscape of an upgrade. 

The One finally touts a Blu Ray player, but hey, my PS3 already does that. Great job, Bill Gates, you took your dear sweet time including tech that another system introduced seven years ago. Both consoles are running on 8GB of RAM and I believe an octo-core processor, so we're not looking at tremendous differences. Sony's going for more social integration while Microsoft is attempting the all-in-one home entertainment system. Both manufacturers have changed the design of their respective controllers in ways, I believe, that reflect the new features of the consoles themselves. 

Sony ditched the Start and Select buttons for Share and Options. Microsoft has done similar with View and Share. The PS4 controller's thumbsticks are concave allowing a better hold when nervous gamers can't keep their thumbs in one place. What was especially interesting was the touchpad on the PS4 controller. It only looks to be around two maybe three inches across, but perhaps that inclusion paired with a more ergonomic design akin to the 360's will make for a comfortable experience. The One's controller is only slightly bigger than the 360's, but does away with most of the weight. Microsoft ditched battery packs for a smooth backing made possible by an embedded rechargeable battery. This will probably play out like the USB cable with the PS3. I'm fine with less trips to the junk-drawer to grab AAs at two in the morning. 

The One also brings Kinect 2.0 bundled with the console. Everything about the motion-sensor has been redesigned to allow a more user-friendly experience. Voice recognition and camera recognition now allows players to speak at a more indoor volume and move faster without worrying about the camera lagging. Kinect 2.0 now picks up individual joint movement like elbows, knees, and wrists for example. While Kinect has been somewhat of a let-down in regards to its range, I honestly have faith 2.0 will allow players with limited space to expand without rearranging the living room furniture. 

The only One you'll ever need

This is all we know until 10 June

I'm only to guess Sony wants to hit E3 hard and leave Microsoft crying in the corner. We know a majority of the controller specs, but a wee bit on the console itself. The PS4 controller, as you can see, has a built-in microphone for various in-game command options or voice-navigation on the dashboard. I believe Microsoft is doing the same with the One's controller given the fact they're heading in the home entertainment direction. However, with the upgraded Kinect, it may not. 

So, there's the tip of the iceberg. Microsoft is going for what looks like a VCR-looking console (honestly, look at the damn thing. BetaMax, anyone?) while Sony is shying away for the opportune moment to strike. Sony's bringing in the AMD x86 Jaguar CPU while Microsoft is going for their own brand of CPUs. Hard-drives look to be around 500GBs starting off, but bundles will most likely give lower options or maybe even more. Both line-up almost neck-to-neck. We'll see in five days who goes through the adolescent growth spurt and reaches the win. Several launch titles (both exclusive and multi-platform) will be available with the consoles later in the year. Most likely another holiday debut, so get those accounts ready for some abuse. Developers and their grandmothers are cranking out more exclusive titles than we'll be able to count (Microsoft has exclusives again!). More Call of Duty and Battlefield is on the way, but I know you all want something to really shake things up again. 

Check out the interwebs or just stay tuned here throughout E3 for more information on the next generation on all your gaming goodies. 

In a last tid-bit, Kryptonians and Earthlings unite! Man of Steel hits theatres next Friday or Thursday if you're into the early premieres. June has arrived and it's time for some f*cking awesome cinema sauce. World War Z, Monsters U, and so much more. 

Catch it late or on time only at The Late Duck. 

To Boldly Go...

We'll get to Stark Trek: Into Darkness in just a hot second. 

Zombieland was probably the last greatest zombie flick....nearly four years ago. A movie so incredibly bombastic knew it had concluded its story and well at that end. Woody Harrelson stole the show as Tallahassee with Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin bringing up the sides in their own styles. Even Bill Murray dropped by for a brief moment, but....we all know how that turned out. 

Why the f*ck would a TV series based in the same universe need to exist? Same characters, same backstory, same Twinkies. Here's the catch: no Harrelson, Eisenberg, Stone, or Breslin....or Murray (hey, he could be a legit zombie this time). This is where Amazon stepped in to bring a mess of new original series to the masses. As one of them, Zombieland: The Series premiered last month to mostly negative reviews. Hell, fans of the movie were hating on the idea long before Amazon picked it up for debut. A Zombieland without Woody Harrelson chainsawing flesh-eaters? That's like taking Andrea's graphic novel bad-assitude and completely ditching it in the Walking Dead series. Oh, right, they f*cking did. For some unknown reason, the creators of a fan-loved idea find the bright idea to adapt to another media to grasp another audience. What's that? It's the same goddamn audience? Well, no shit. A Zombieland series done right would bring back the original cast and go through the exact same schtick these new jacks did in the pilot. Sorry, Kirk Ward, you're not Woody Harrelson. 

I sat with my phone and watched the half-hour pilot. While getting to know a wee bit of Tallahassee pre-undead uprising (even though it was going on right behind them) was a smidgen interesting, I just couldn't understand why. I know his background. He had a son. He lost his son. He went on a zombie-killing f*cking rampage. I'm set. SPOILER: Harrelson definitely could have pulled off Tallahassee's rant inside the factory building or whatever it was more effectively than Ward. More f-bombs, more shit about Twinkies, and more Columbus getting under his skin. However, the Zombie-Kill-of-the-Week was pretty clever and being a native Texan having it set in Ft Worth was schweet. Imagine rolling one of those giant billiard-looking balls you find on gas station signs down a parking garage and laughing as the zombie becomes red mush. 

Ultimately, the series wasn't picked up for obvious reasons. Pre-debut fan backlash doesn't really safeguard the life of a TV show. Maybe a Zombieland sequel with the original cast would work, Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick. 

My overall score of the Zombieland: The Series pilot- Sit back on the couch, toss the movie in, and enjoy more decorative zombie-killing. 

Yes, yes, yes, we're getting closer to  Star Trek. How I Met Your Mother finally ended back on Monday and I couldn't be happier. Honestly. Season eight was, in so few words, unbearable. Show creators Carter Bays and Craig Thomas were beating a dead horse with a broken record from episode one back in September. The Autumn of Break-ups, Victoria coming back to Ted, Barney proposing to Robin, Ted still not being over Robin, and annoying uses of fourth-wall jokes. For a show that's never used lame slap-stick, Bays/Thomas lathered the mess all over. This season only had a handful of memorable moments with the only three being Marshall's last bag of skittles, the past/present/future Teds and Barneys cover of Billy Joel's The Longest Time, and the final installment in the Robin Sparkles legacy. 

The Bros

Daggers

I can't remember anything more memorable than the above three moments. How I Met Your Mother has been a story of recollection after recollection involving events that are equally great to recall to friends or on Tuesday night trivia at Buffalo Wild Wings. Season eight and, unfortunately, Season nine will go down in the series' history as the weakest segments. I hate admitting that to one of my beloved shows, but come on, they're running out of gas at this point. Something Old, Something New, I don't care anymore! I want the mother. I want the wedding. I want the damn end to the story! 

Luckily, we were given one of the requests in the form of the actual Mother with yellow umbrella and bass guitar in tow. Cristin Milioti was revealed as Ted's definitive future wife. As a series regular for the final showdown, she'll be actively engaged with every main character throughout the season leading up to her meet-up with good ol' Schmosby. If you don't believe me take a look. 

Scroll to 1:10 if you're too impatient

Indeed miracles can occur. She's real and this mess is finally going down! This was the highlight of Season eight. That yellow umbrella wasn't enough for me. I had to see it all and we finally have. Hot damn and praise Allah! Oh, wait...

Be sure to attend the (ill-fated?) wedding in the ninth and final season of How I Met Your Mother this September. I'll be on board with all of you the entire way. 

As for my final say on Season eight...I wash my hands of it with a six of ten. 

In the immortal words of Heath Ledger's Joker......and here we.......go. If the above wasn't indication enough, Star Trek: Into Darkness is officially in theatres as of today. Most theatres were showing the film as early as Wednesday which I found quite odd as trailers, posters, and every bit of media detailed a 17 May 2013 launch. But, who cares? I caught the 9:10 show last night, had my Cherry Coke, and full attention glued to the silver screen. How was my dedication rewarded? How will yours? Graciously, I say. Abso-positively-lutely graciously rewarded....wow, far too many -ly endings. 

If you haven't already seen the film: SPOILER ALERT!!!!! 

Into Darkness drops audiences right into the fray on the planet Nibiru with Kirk and Bones fleeing from an indigenous species. Spock quickly joins the party tasked with neutralizing an active volcano threatening to destroy the natives. Kirk ignores the Prime Directive by saving Spock from almost certain death and, incidentally, reveals the Enterprise to a species that has barely reached primitive assemblage (Pike akins this to the caveman's creation of the wheel). 

Kirk faces a chain of bad luck with a demotion to First Officer and Spock reassigned to another vessel. In London, a mysterious figure brings about a terrorist attack against a Starfleet Archives library. We find out this man is John Harrison, an agent of Starfleet. Admiral Pike chastises Kirk for his brash behavior and blatant ignorance of Starfleet policies. Kirk attempts justifying his actions as he's yet to lose anyone under his command. During a meeting with Admiral Alexander Marcus and the rest of Starfleet high command, Pike and several others are killed in an attack by an unknown gunship piloted by Harrison himself. Kirk, returned to his post as captain of the Enterprise, takes Spock and co on the hunt for this terrorist. 

Harrison has fled to none other than Chronos, the Klingon homeworld. Before departing from Earth, Scotty faces his own personal dilemma as news of seventy-two highly explosive nuclear warheads appear onboard the Enterprise. Without knowing the contents of the weapons and hearing Kirk's opposition to abandon them, Scottie resigns as Chief Engineering Officer thus putting Chekov into the position. 

I'll stop with the spoilers there for obvious reasons. Into Darkness dives into some deep Trek lore which I, for the life of me, can't even bare to ruin for die-hard fans. J.J. Abrams clearly spared no expense going all-out on this venture. All of the original actors are back with Benedict Cumberbatch presenting himself as John Harrison and Alice Eve as Carol Marcus/Wallace, Kirk's love interest and a Science Officer with Starfleet. The acting is solid for Chris Pine (Kirk), Zachary Quinto (Spock), and Cumberbatch. You could say he almost steals the show as Harrison, but that would be unfair to the stellar performances from everyone else. We don't get much as far as the remaining crew: John Cho (Sulu), Zoe Saldana (Uhura), and Anton Yelchin (Chekov). Simon Pegg (Scotty) receives an interesting side-story which I personally enjoyed and found quite comical. Coming from the Raging Redshirt, I expected no less than comedy, but Pegg put in a personal side to Scotty showing his reluctance to believe the established word on a matter. 

Sound came through booming from the soundtrack returning from the first movie to the phasers, languages, and photon torpedoes chewing into the hull of the Enterprise. Films like Into Darkness need to be seen in theatre to enjoy the full, immersive sound of the environment throughout each scene. 

The overall aesthetic of Into Darkness came through even more than the first. Nibiru's lush red landscape acted as the perfect contrast to Chronos' weathered, war-torn appearance. The Enterprise opened up a bit more this time around to show off Engineering in her absolute gorgeous beauty. Abrams made sure that when you sit down to this film, especially in 3D, you're strapped in with the crew for a two hour roller coaster. 

 In no way did I leave the theatre wanting more or feeling dejected or bereft. Into Darkness delivered on its premise and then some ending in what I believe as yet another perfect segway into a sequel. While Abrams may be starting work on Episode VII, don't count him out just yet for his contribution to the new and improved Star Trek universe. 

I will conclude my review by saying get off the f*cking couch and see this damn film. 

Stay tuned next week for the exciting end to the Wolfpack with The Hangover Part III.

Catch it late or on time only on The Late Duck. 

Hello, Old Sport

I don't know what the protocol is when you literally get hit by a truck. No, I don't mean "I'm in my car and the truck collided with me". I mean "I'm on my bicycle and the truck literally hits me". German brawn and some heavy dose of dumbass Irish luck are the only two factors I'm playing in this equation that kept me from a funeral pyre or several weeks laying contentedly on a hospital bed waiting for something worse to happen.

Alas, fortune shines upon me. And no, this wasn't an elaborate tale to evoke sympathy from your dear, sweet hearts. Yes, my esteemed readers, I am living proof that exercise just might kill you. Stay on that couch. Turn on the television. Watch some lame action movie stamped and approved by the blind members of the 1980s Motion Picture Association of America. How in all hell Rambo made it past pre-production I will never know. 

As I rest before a vibrant computer monitor sipping my handmade whiskey sour, several thoughts race through a calmed conscious. What movies would I have missed? What games? Television shows premiering in the coming weeks? Would I eventually read the increasingly large stack of comics collecting dust in the vast abyss I care to call a room? Fate knew my constant desire for cinematography must be sated on a monthly basis. The universe, God, destiny, whatever the f*ck you want to call the mess knew I had to partake in the consumer end of the entertainment industry. 

While the above ramble is all true (I honestly did get hit by a truck), let's move onto more interesting matters. 

Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby hit theatres yesterday and I have witnessed his wonders. Critics have been going through the motions accusing the film of being more "style over substance" than dragging out the story with character development in order to convey more sympathy to viewers. I can agree on only a fraction of the statement. Luhrmann's work has included some of my least favorite adaptations (Romeo+Juliet) to one of the best musicals (Moulin Rouge) and an incredible extremely-loosely-based-on-a-true-story films (Australia): the Japanese bombing of Darwin. 

Allow me this tangent to help bolster my following point. The Lost Generation has been one of the key influential literary periods in world literature. I would clarify American literature to that end, but who on this earth hasn't heard of Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Stein, or at least Eliot? Their descriptions of life before, during, and after the Great War brought definition to a generation burdened by death, pain, suffering, and of all things, alcoholism. For our group of American expatriates including Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald, Gertrude Stein, John Dos Passos, and Thomas Stearns Eliot, they owned this golden era. The 1920s belonged to writers, singers, dancers, musicians, painters, and artists of any genre. Through drinking and dancing to fighting and writing, these individuals sought to dive into the worlds that troubled them in order to hopefully escape them. 

Fitzgerald penned The Great Gatsby in 1925, the heyday of the Roaring Twenties. Parties clamored every night. Liquor, beer, wine, and champagne flowed in rivers down the streets of New York and Paris. Socialites swarmed to any area teeming with fellow night owls prowling for the next luminescent oasis. The Charleston crowded dance halls world-wide. Paris lit up the night sky. New York rarely shut off its welcoming nightly glow. We, as the unfortunate readers of this modern era, are introduced to these extravagant evenings by narrator Nick Carraway, a World War One veteran and bond broker living in Long Island, New York. Fitzgerald takes his novel as an opportunity to visualize the American image of the 1920s. In his other short stories and novels, he sheds light on the Parisian side of the coin where one could say the Twenties shined immensely. 

Carraway immediately takes an interest in his mysterious neighbor who hosts nightly parties with no apparent cause for celebration. Daisy, Carraway's cousin, and her old-money husband, Tom Buchanan  reside across the bay in the fictional neighborhood of East Egg (Nick lives in West Egg). On the Buchanan dock stands a lone green spotlight shining out onto the bay. Quite often, Nick spots a figure standing on the dock reaching out to the light as if he's longing for something lost. This man of mystery is none other than the enigmatic Jay Gatsby, a man of new money and in constant desire to surround himself with curious company. Carraway is eventually invited to one of Gatsby's extraordinary soirees where he finally encounters Gatsby himself. The pair recall serving together in the war as part of the same machine gun battalion. As Nick quickly descends into this company, he finds his life taking a turn for the surreal. 

And that's where the story spoilers come to a screeching halt. If you didn't read this in Junior-level English.......well, let's say it should've been on your priority reading list for the following summers. I promised a point would be made out of the above paragraphs. 

Fitzgerald grasped what he knew from the Twenties and molded them into what we read as The Great Gatsby. Parties, alcohol, romance, domestic abuse, fast cars, and the freedom to do whatever the f*ck anyone wanted stormed rampant across the globe. Needless to say, finding the right cinematic elements to portray this lifestyle would take a hefty sum of creative thought. The 1974 version starring Sam Waterson as Nick Carraway, Mia Farrow as Daisy, and Robert Redford as the titular Gatsby performed admirably for its time. I viewed the film years ago and felt only a fraction of the emotions as when reading the novel. Baz Luhrmann comes along thirty plus years later to breathe life back into the filmed adaptation genre of movie-making. 

Tobey Maguire's casting as Carraway had me worried. I found Waterson's performance dry, emotionless, and above all, boring. However, when paired with Leonardo DiCaprio's Gatsby, I quickly became as much a believer as Carraway did an alcoholic. His narration of the events both in 1929 and 1922 (we first meet Nick in a sanitarium as he recalls the events seven years prior) felt as if I was turning the pages again. You can hear the change in tone as the film goes back-and-forth in time. Carraway's burned-out narration quickly shifts to vibrant and youthful as he begins writing his story. I loved that part especially. Luhrmann and his team of graphic designers literally took excerpts from the novel and displayed them throughout the movie as part of Carraway's narration. Make no mistake. This is Baz Luhrmann at one of his finest moments in film direction. 

I have to get onto DiCaprio's performance. Here's an actor I could not bare for the sake of anything holy. Titanic, The Beach, please no. But Catch Me If You Can, Blood Diamond, The Departed, Shutter Island, Inception, Django Unchained, and now his portrayal as Jay Gatsby has me thoroughly impressed. His accent which I can only put at a mid-west meets New Yorker sells Gatsby as a believable character. The famous words "old sport" come up more times than the f-bomb in a Tarantino flick. One might get overly annoyed at the use, but coming from DiCaprio everything works fine. When I think of Gatsby, Tony Stark comes to mind: billionaire, playboy, not so much philanthropist, but you get the idea. We see this image of Gatsby, but you know there's another character beneath. You see James Gatz, the man he was and couldn't continue living under a nothing-name. Through hope, as Carraway described Gatsby (the most hopeful man he ever met), he sought to re-invent himself as means to win back parts of the life he lost as result of the war. DiCaprio took this character and could've done anything. Gatsby's suave demeanor, his cool swagger were embodied by DiCaprio and helped to compliment the cast as a whole. 

Joel Edgerton as Tom Buchanan was a flawless casting. The triangle between his character, Carey Mulligan's Daisy, and Gatsby could not have been played out better. When he finally voiced his frustration over a certain matter in an undisclosed hotel room, DiCaprio boomed with gusto. Joel's Tom can easily be set as the novel and film's main antagonist, but I've developed my own theory over time. 

Each character becomes their own antagonist. Nick begins as a modest broker starting out in New York. As the story progresses, his decision to fall in with Gatsby and the party scene start weighing him down emotionally, mentally, and physically. He lives this rambunctious life to the point in which he becomes disgusted by the scene and those who partake. Gatsby's obsession with restarting the past by reconnecting with Daisy ultimately brings him down in the end. Daisy's inability to cope with pressure leads to a climatic accident. Tom's infidelity nearly comes to a head until Daisy inadvertently silences his problem. Even George Wilson, the poor gas station clerk/mechanic succumbs to revenge while his wife, Myrtle, also pays for her carelessness. Case in point: no one gets out clean. 

In this argument over style over substance, I can see how the critics viewed the decision as a flaw. However, a story like Gatsby needs that type of insomnia-inducing vibe. Don't turn out the lights, play the music louder, toss confetti relentlessly, and let the champagne bottles burst like fountains. Parties in the Twenties weren't casual get-togethers. They were as full of life as the people who attended them. Some were war veterans, some were bond brokers, some were bloody rich, and some were bloody tired of their mundane lives. These parties allowed anyone of any financial or social standing to express themselves without fear, concern, or worry of what will happen tomorrow. Luhrmann made damn sure to show this in every scene Gatsby threw a party. And yet, no matter how many random attendees, open liquor bottles, or wildly danced Charlestons, one individual would always feel unfulfilled: Gatsby. 

The City of Ashes was one of my favorite settings in the novel. This mid-point between East and West Egg was plagued by constant industrialism. Nothing but ash and machines and, of course, George Wilson and his modest garage. The "eyes" on the optometrist billboard were a warming touch to see. I would've felt a sense of incomplete had those eyes not been present. 

My final note in what must seem an almost endless ramble is the soundtrack. Composed by Jay-Z of all people, the sounds of the 1920s jazz blends well with modern hip-hop. Some would say (myself included) that the combination doesn't sit well together. This was not the case. I went along with the film tapping my foot all the while. 

In a post script, Isla Fisher and Elizabeth Debicki as Myrtle Wilson and Jordan Baker were rather enjoyable in their parts. While Myrtle's role in the story isn't show-stealing, Fisher worked in her sex appeal to show why Tom had an interest. Jordan Baker, Nick's "love" interest, didn't really play out fully enough for me to believe any connection would be present. These minor characters still represent major points in the story, but not enough time went into developing their integrity. 

I'm quite exhausted at the current time, so if anything sounds completely and utterly incomprehensible, my deepest apologies are sent your way. Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby does indeed give precedence to style over substance, but still allows the story to unfold without a hitch. Performances from Maguire, DiCaprio, Edgerton, and Mulligan push each conflict to its extreme to show viewers the immensity that was the Roaring Twenties. From the rich, vibrant parties of Gatsby's West Egg mansion to the dull, grimy industrialism of the City of Ashes, Luhrmann has done justice to Fitzgerald's most reputable novel and American literature's best celebrated work. If you love the Lost Generation as much as this kid does, take my advice. 

Get the f*ck off the couch and see this damn film. 

The Great Gatsby, starring Tobey Maguire, Leonardo DiCaprio, Joel Edgerton, and Carey Mulligan, earns an eight of ten. 

Goodbye, old sport. 

In Iron Clad

Five years have passed since Iron Man graced theatres in 2008. Marvel's cinematic universe had finally begun. Iron Man 2 came along two years later toting Black Widow and hints of Thor and Captain America via clever easter eggs. However, in both films, Tony Stark was merely the man behind the armor. The Avengers spent more time focusing on the group as a whole while taking a few turns giving each member some independent screen time. It wasn't until 12:01 central standard time in Denton, Texas that I finally saw Stark at his most vulnerable, raw state. Don't get me wrong. This is still very much so Iron Man only with a hefty amount of character development. 

The story itself takes place some time after the events of the Avengers. How much time you ask? Well, enough for Stark to manufacture some plus or minus forty Iron Man variations. Tony's fallen into extreme panic attacks while trying to experiment with his suits and maintain his relationship with Pepper which is now faltering due to his obsession with perfecting the Iron Man suit. Tony now has the ability to call each individual piece to his body similar to how the wristbands worked in the Avengers. This small little scene harkens back to the first movie when he tested the repulsor strength on the second suit. Several new characters are introduced and are detailed below. Rebecca Hall comes in as Dr. Maya Hansen, an old flame of Stark's and inventor of the Extremis virus. This story focuses on Tony outside of the suit; vulnerable, beaten, weary, and trying to come to terms with his near-death experience in New York. His back-and-forth with ten year-old Harley was a fun bit of comic relief just to remind us this is still the same quick-witted, cynical, arrogant, yet kind-hearted (sort of) Tony Stark. 

Oh, this? I just wear it around the house

Shane Black taking the helm was a fantastic move. Jon Favreau directed the previous two films and put the happy in Happy Hogan. He knew what to do, how to do it, and why it needed to be done. Now, with Black finishing out the trilogy, the overall feel to the movie was definitely reflective of his cinematography. From Lethal Weapon to Marvel's flagship film series, Shane Black has come quite a long way. This is where the change occurs most. As I spoke earlier, Iron Man 3 is character driven. Not in a heavy sense that bogs down the film, but focusing on those we love and truly care about. 

Robert Downey Jr and Don Cheadle as Tony Stark and James "Rhodey" Rhodes complimented each other very well this time. We had some buddy-buddy moments in Iron Man 2, but once Rhodey went all War Machine on Tony's ass, all bets were off until the end. Lethal Weapon's "buddy cop" theme shined in multiple parts with Stark and Rhodey either shooting up a complex or taking out Extremis-powered henchmen. I enjoyed seeing their friendship a bit more fleshed out this time rather than covered up by Rhodey getting his hands on the soon-to-be War Machine suit. Don Cheadle gets a significant amount more screen time once Downey Jr steps away from the spot light in the form of Tony going MIA. As the Iron Patriot (fully decked out in red, white, and blue), Rhodey tries taking the fight to the Mandarin (a surprising performance by Sir Ben Kingsley) only to little avail. 

I keep thinking Captain America in powered armor

Speaking of Kingsley, the Mandarin is Iron Man's chief villain. An intelligent, menacing, and powerful foe, this character had the opportunity to become a terrifying foe to Stark. What we were given was more a bait-and-switch with Guy Pearce's character, Aldrich Killian, a scientist suffering from multiple debilitating diseases who eventually embraces the Extremis serum granting him regenerative powers as well as super strength and dragon-like qualities (you'll see). This was yet another attempt to re-create Dr. Erskine's formula used on Steve Rogers transforming him into Captain America. 

Pearce turned out to be a formidable foe more towards the end once his story arc came full circle. Until that point, James Badge Dale seemingly taking the role of Eric Savin/Coldblood proved enough of a fight. There comes a point around the middle of the movie when the Stark and Rhodes encounter the Mandarin. This was the biggest surprise of the story. I can't say I was disappointed, but more pleased on how Black worked with these characters. I won't give away any plot details beyond the above stated, but everything occurring between each character comes full circle at the end. You may be slightly confused/annoyed/angry at the mid-point, but trust me, everything works out pretty well. When Stark's so-called "Iron Legion" swings by, shit hits the proverbial fan hard. And I mean, holy f*ck this is f*cking Barney Stinson-style legendary. 

Aw, yeah!!!!!!!!

Iron Man 3 differed from the first two, but its differences made sense and brought the trilogy to a sensible close. I walked away after the must-see post-credits scene feeling satisfied and comfortable that justice was done to one of Marvel's greatest heroes. While it may seem to be dragging its feet through most of the film, Iron Man 3 takes every piece of the suit and assembles it perfectly without a hitch. Whether or not this along with Winter Soldier and Dark Worlds does enough to lead into the Avengers 2 is still up for debate. Tony's changed and the rest of the gang better follow suit. 

Iron Man 3 earns the score of "Get the f*ck off the couch and see this damn movie". 

Stay tuned next week for Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby and Star Trek: Into Darkness on the 17th. 

Catch it late or on time only on The Late Duck. 

No Explosions, Bay?

Pain and Gain. For those who've seen the trailer, it looks like one of those over-the-top films with massive amounts of testosterone and steroids injected into it like Bane doping on Venom. I honestly didn't know what the hell to make of the trailer when I first saw it last year, but this I will admit: the cast looked solid and it was probably the first Michael Bay movie in years to not have copious amounts of A) big-ass explosions and B) special effects running around like a fat kid in a donut factory. While there's no way in hell I'll see this movie full price, it definitely warrants the dollar theatre or the five dollar early bird special. Before I see Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson ripped on whatever the f*ck they're taking, Oblivion takes priority. 

The last movie I saw him, he was a shirtless rock god

who actually sang his own parts. Kudos, Mr. Cruise. 

Oblivion stars Tom Cruise and Morgan Freeman (among others, but let's take a guess who you'll notice first) in a post-apocalyptic Earth. Now, I've been trying not to find out laundry lists of details surrounding the film as to not ruin the story, so don't expect anything until I actually see it today or tomorrow. Given the fact that I have two days off in a row, this kid can finally get back in the cinema swing. 

Critics didn't really praise the film and I can honestly see why. How many post-apocalyptic films have we now? Dozens if not more? Yeah, it's a genre that's been blended in a processor multiple times occasionally adding in different spices, but never let it be said they don't entertain the hell out of the general population. Much like zombies and their respective genre, the post-apocalypse film will never die until we actually experience one of those world-ending scenarios. Personally, I want zombies. We'll still have electricity and access to foodstuffs, clean water, and plenty of rage-venting opportunities. Just don't be like The Walking Dead group and get all emotional. Feelings and zombies just don't mix well. 

In regards to other previously released movies, I'm really only gunning for 42, the Jackie Robinson biopic. I've always had an affinity for "based on a true story" films that do right by their iconic individual. The Croods, Scary Movie 5, and GI: Joe Retaliation go down on my "Wait/Never see this f*cking film" list. 

Next month, however, brings tidings of great joy with Iron Man 3 officially kicking off the Summer film season, despite the fact it's still Spring, and then The Great Gatsby and Star Trek: Into Darkness leading us further into the season. Now, now, don't fret for these two are only the kick-starters to an entire summer of cinematic wonder. 

I'd consider myself a huge fan of F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, and T.S. Eliot. More films need to be adapted from their works. Luckily, Baz Luhrmann realized this and gave us the adaptation I've wanted since Robert Redford played the titular Jay Gatsby. I'm more than thrilled for this film almost to the point where I'll have my copy of Fitzgerald's masterpiece in hand whilst viewing its cinematic counterpart. 

Go and see Fast and Furious Six if you please, but I'll hold out for The Hangover Part III to finish out the merry month of May. This animated film Epic looked interesting from the trailer, but I can't really say anything else in that regard. 

After Earth's trailer didn't do much to bring me in seeing as it's yet another post-apocalyptic film. Will Smith and his son Jaden had an incredible duo in The Pursuit of Happyness, so I'm not all too concerned about they're capability. The director, though, I can't help but worry over. When the f*ck did M. Night Shyamalan dish out a decent film? Oh, right, Signs...over ten f*cking years ago. That's a movie I can watch again without second guessing myself. Critics be damned, I enjoyed that film. The Village was alright, but Signs won in my book. 

Much everything else in May is either an Indie flick or foreign. Not to say those will perform poorly, but most likely won't hit my radar. Onward to June! 

The Internship brings Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson back which worries me none. While it probably won't go to the Wedding Crashers level, I'm still excited for that pair to make a come back. Much Ado About Nothing, another modernized version of a Shakespeare play, lets Joss Whedon come out to play with Nathan Fillion and Clark Gregg along for the ride among other actors, of course. 

This Is the End will, undoubtedly, piss off droves of critics with its senseless comedy revolving around gay, fart, dick, stoner, and celebrity jokes. Who gives a f*ck? Actors are playing themselves in an end-of-the-world scenario. What could go wrong? 

Emma Watson f*cking shit up, apparently

I've definitely come down from my haughty movie high-horse in the past couple years. If not, I wouldn't touch this film with an EOS suit on. 

Man of Steel. Do I really have to go on? Just....just watch. The latest trailer speaks for itself. 

June needs to hurry the f*ck up

The Bling Ring tags along with Man of Steel coming out on the fourteenth and stars Emma Watson in some drug/jewelry ring. All I know is, Hermione's grown up and she looks A-MA-ZING! 

Monsters University and World War Z hit exactly a week after the above two. It's been over ten years since Monsters Inc came out and Pixar once again reaffirmed its crazy animation chops, so no concerns there. The original cast is back with John Goodman and Billy Crystal leading the hilarity. Max Brooks' World War Z spans multiple stories of zombie encounters, so I really don't know if Brad Pitt can pull the weight of this movie as well as Brooks wrote his book. I met Max Brooks and asked him the question of whether or not fast-moving zombies actually exist. He laughed and I quote "Fast zombies don't exist!" which answered my question perfectly. That being said, why the f*ck are there ridiculously fast-moving zombies that can topple a goddamn bus and form an undead latter to attack a helicopter? We'll see when June swings around. 

Despicable Me 2 and The Lone Ranger head up July coming out on the third. I'm fine with both. Johnny Depp as Tonto? Depp can act like no other actor. I'd never argue with the guy because I know Jack Sparrow would join and I'd tap out gladly. 

Guillermo del Toro's Pacific Rim recently came under some heat by action film juggernaut Michael Bay for the film resembling Transformers. F*ck you, Bay. del Toro's giants are mechs piloted by humans fighting weird-ass sea monsters. If anything, it's closer to Monsters vs Aliens except Robots vs Monsters. Regardless of who doesn't care about this film, I certainly do. 

Turbo, Red 2, and R.I.P.D are going down on my "watch in theatres list". Turbo, a Dreamworks animation production, stars Ryan Reynolds as a garden snail in pursuit (ha, get it, because they're slow, so pursuit means...oh, nevermind) to become the fastest snail ever. Red 2 brings back Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, and Helen Mirren into the retired spy life. If the sequel is the same or better or has Malkovich screaming with a bomb strapped to his chest again, I'm as giddy as a schoolboy. R.I.P.D also stars Reynolds along with Jeff Bridges. R.I.P.D or the Rest in Peace Department follows the two actors chasing around supernatural villainy hell bent on bringing harm to the living. Sounds like Hellboy and the B.R.P.D. 

 The Wolverine concludes July in an epic fashion. Hugh Jackman dons the adamantium claws once again for what I'm calling the best X-Men film to date. Will he ditch his mutation or realize it's not so damn bad living forever? 

August has some heavy-hitters surprisingly. 300: Rise of an Empire goes away from the bloody field at Thermopylae to the Greek seas where General Themistokles facing similar odds: the might of the Persian fleet led by wannabe god, Xerxes. Eh, I liked 300 more. 

If Cockneys vs Zombies hits our shores, then f*ck yeah I'm in!

This is the big one for August. The ninth dishes out Elysium, Niell Blomkamp wrote and directed this sci-fi adventure set in the 22nd century (2159) where Earth is but a ruin and a pristine community, Elysium, houses the super-rich. Free of disease, crime, poverty, or malaise of any kind, those left behind on Earth must find a way to bring those motherf*ckers down. Cue Matt Damon in a powersuit grafted to his body. This suit supposedly has the key to bring Elysium's entire system down. Jodie Foster and Sharlto Copley (who was in Blomkamp's last critical success, District 9) join the cast as antagonists or allies to Damon's character. 

Yes, Matt Damon, now you're a bad-ass again. 

Pixar's follow-up to Cars, Planes, hits theatres as well starring Steve Carell and Dane Cook. We'll see if Pixar can beat Brave. 

Kick-Ass 2 gets bloody again on the sixteenth and I really need to read up on the issues in my collection. Aaron Johnson, Chloe Grace Moretz, and Chistopher Mintz-Plasse all reprise their roles. Jim Carrey dons the persona of Colonel Stars and Stripes in a role I think he'll steal the show with easily. 

The World's End will probably my last movie to see this summer. When you have Simon Pegg and Nick Frost in a movie, shit is bound to go down in the worst most comical way possible. If this hits American shores, I'll gladly attend a showing. The story alone sounds like something I'd do and given the fact Edgar Wright is directing, I'll see the damn movie even if I have to ship overseas to London. Five friends gather twenty years after attempting a legendary pub crawl in order to attempt the same feat again (and I suppose successfully this time). If we get the film, go see it. Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost have a natural talent for dishing out amazingly hilarious films. 

Well, that about sums it up for the 2013 Summer season. September is technically summer, but I've never counted it part of the Summer cinema season. So, with this knowledge at your disposal, check out all the trailers and catch a majority of these films in theatre. I'll have my reviews for the ones I catch as I see them. 

Catch it late or on time only on The Late Duck. 

Off the Chain

The title both works as a pun and a decent description of Quentin Tarantino's latest foray into the film society, Django Unchained. Controversy surrounded this movie to no end and continues even now (oh, China, it's only full frontal male nudity). Yes, Tarantino was a bit liberal with the use of that certain word used during that certain era. Yes, Tarantino probably hooked a fire hose up to a vat of fake blood. Yes, Tarantino probably doesn't give a f*ck what people think of his films. He just bitch slaps the critics with his Oscars and moves on. 

If the above paragraph wasn't any indication, the Academy Award-winning Django Unchained has hit shelves today. I have my copy from the friendly neighborhood Best Buy who so happened to stock a special edition to their shelves. This certain edition, packaged in a custom sleeve, comes in a tri-fold case with the Blu Ray, DVD, and Bonus Features disc along with the Ultraviolet/Digital copy. 

For those unfortunate few that never saw the film in theatres, Jamie Foxx stars as the titular character hellbent on rescuing his darling wife from the hands of the whack-ass crazy slave owner, Calvin Candie (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his aging master-of-the-house (sort of), Stephen (Samuel L. Jackson). Django is initially enlisted by Dr. King Schultz (Christoph Waltz), a professional bounty hunter and delightfully hilarious German immigrant. Waltz steals the show as Schultz in an Academy Award-winning performance (he took away Best Male Actor in a Supporting Role) and I never had a single complaint on the subject. This isn't to say Foxx, DiCaprio, and Jackson fall short on their roles. As with nearly every Tarantino film, characters are brought along well throughout the film and deserve their fitting ends whether fatal or not. As much as I loved the film in theatres earlier this year, I will definitely/highly recommend this as a must-have for film buffs or Tarantino fanatics (such as myself) to add to their increasing film collection. 

 Exterior of the edition showcasing Django, Schultz, and Candie

Interior showing off the signature chain displayed in the poster art

From left to right: Blu Ray, DVD, Bonus Features

Django Unchained wasn't the only new release today. Sadly, today marks the last big release for me until The Last of Us hits in mid-June. Oh, Naughty Dog, you brilliant bastards. Stop teasing already! Anyway, Injustice: Gods Among Us has landed and it's a solid touchdown. Netherrealm Studios has taken Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe, cleaned up/polished the graphics, tightened up the controls, simplified the combos, and FINALLY wrote a clever story worth paying attention. I simply cannot remember a Mortal Kombat game that had a fantastic story. Injustice, however, kind of re-introduces the idea of Superman giving up on humanity and attempting to bring the entire world under his "protection", but we all know what that means: complete and total "F*ck you" subjugation. Similar to Superman: Red Son (which came as a pre-order bonus at Gamestop), various superheroes rise up against Superman such as Batman who forms the Insurgency to remove the One Earth government. Where the story greatly differs is the temporal displacement that creates a somewhat brilliant inter-dimensional rift causing superheroes from the normal dimension you, me, and everyone else knows in which Metropolis doesn't really have a good day and throws them into the One Earth dimension with Superman trying to fight off his performance anxiety. 

I'll stop there to avoid major spoilers surrounding several characters and get into more. The gameplay is split up into various categories offering multiple ways to enjoy the game. You have the standard Story mode to experience the plot and unlock quite a bit of goodies. Multiplayer opens you up to versus and arcade mode to see who's top king among your friends. S.T.A.R. Labs brings in a pot load of mini games and Q-T-Es for even more unlockables. The Hero card gives you a chance to show off your gamer swag with all of the emblems, backgrounds, and character cards you've obtained. It's a nice touch to multiplayer, but nothing more. 

Now, don't worry if you're cannon fodder when it comes to fighting games. Trust me, you're never alone. Injustice allows you to tag whatever move you fancy to the screen so you don't have to go back and forth to remember each combo. The special moves themselves are relatively easy to memorize, so pick a character and start training. Flash is my home boy right now and his moves are perfect for gamers like me who can't handle heavy characters like Bane or Solomon Grundy or even mid-tier characters like Deathstroke or Ares. His moves are fast, easy, and dish out a modest amount of damage if you can string combos well. 

Every character has their own set of moves and super combos. On the PS3, once your meter's filled, pull down L2+R2 for some killer hits. Flash circumnavigates the globe to come back and deal out the pain with a swift upper cut and bitch slap to the ground. Superman winds up, smacks his opponent into the stratosphere (and then some), and finally back down to the cold, hard ground with a well-placed "f*ck you" to the face. Ares' is both easy to pull off, crowd-pleasing, but ultimately dishes out the least amount of damage. For all of you 300 fans, Ares teleports his foe to the fields of ancient Greece (in a place closely resembling Thermopylae) and, quite literally, rains a mess of arrows down something like........this:

You had to say it, didn't you?

All-in-all, Injustice is a solid game, but it's nothing ground-breaking or revolutionizing in the fighting genre. There's still quite a substantial bit for me to tackle, but in no way am I imagining the task a daunting chore to complete. I've enjoyed the game thus far on Day One, my friends have similarly enjoyed it, and it should make for an excellent party game in the near future. Most likely, The Last of Us will be the next recipient of The Crashed Moose award. DC, Netherrealms, you've done us well this time. 

Before I depart, allow me to leave you with tidings of great joy: the third installment to the Arkham series has been announced. Batman: Arkham Origins is slated for an October release. Get your $5 pre-order ready! 

And, as an added bonus, the Injustice: Collector's Edition statue since I still can't organize a small-ish film crew for an unboxing. 

Who's the bitch now, Bats?!?!

Catch it late or on time only on The Late Duck. 

The Other Car

Shame on you if you didn't catch the title reference. I refer to, of course, Dr. Ellie Sattler's line in Jurassic Park after discovering the second car that went over the side via a pissed off T-Rex. Why would I bring to light a twenty year-old quote? I do believe that aforementioned film hit the coveted twentieth anniversary mark. That's right, dear readers, Steven Spielberg's (in my opinion) flagship film has reached two decades! Why do I consider this his capitol film? Well, just look at what he accomplished. I was but a young lad in the early nineties, so my knowledge of just about damn near anything was relatively non-existent for another few years. 

Jurassic Park started filming 24 August 1992 after a little over two years in pre-production. Keep in mind, this pre-production period was spent creating every single inch of the set, props, and the huge-as-f*ck animatronic T-Rex. Literally, the live-action model they used in the film stood twenty feet and weighed around thirteen thousand pounds. Jack Horner (the film's paleontology expert) remarked "this is the closest I've ever been to a live dinosaur" when viewing the final animatronic. My words would've been more along the lines of "can I get a fresh pair of underwear?" In a short featurette, Spielberg revealed he fully intended for Jurassic Park to be shot in 3D. Had he the technology then, three year-old me would've seen it for the first time in three dimensions. In fact, allow me for Spielberg to inform you himself. 

After seeing the film in 3D at midnight Friday, I can honestly say that would've scared the ever-living f*ck out of me as a toddler. My six year-old brother would've ran out of the theatre rather than hide behind my mother's seat and my one year-old sister still would've been sound asleep throughout the movie. Now, at twenty-three and after seeing the movie over fifty times, I can say that sometimes the oldies are even better with an added dimension. Jurassic Park still looks like a movie that was shot not even five years ago. I've seen the CGI in today's films and TV shows and it's laughable at its worst. Spielberg and his team gave this film their all. Without Jurassic Park, the world would've never had an inexhaustible library of sound effects. How many times has the T-Rex roar been rinsed and repeated for other films? Woe, I only have ten fingers and ten toes. 

From the opening scene with Muldoon and the raptor transfer, I was wrapped in the moment. There will be times when characters on screen just don't look too flashy in 3D, but the dinosaurs and chase sequences are absolutely incredible. When the T-Rex emerges from her paddock to wreak havoc on Lex and Tim, I was on the edge of my seat. The same could be said for the T-Rex/Jeep chase, Grant and Tim escaping the tree, and the T-Rex vs raptors finale. I've loved Jurassic Park for twenty years, had all the toys, played the video game at Chuck E Cheese's, watched The Lost World, and ignored the less-than-appealing third installment. I mean, come on! Spinosaurus is a f*cking punk for taking out T-Rex like that! Does his jaw look like one for massive crushing capability? Hells no. If you haven't already or you're still on the electric fence debating, go back to Isla Nublar. 

My official stance on Jurassic Park 3D- if you've never seen the film shame on you or if you're wanting to go back to the Park in style, then get the f*ck off the couch and see this damn film again. If you're a one-and-done type, then keep chilling with whatever movie's on. 

Another technical re-release came out Friday as well. I call it a re-release while it's more a remake, but yeah, it's Evil Dead. Many of us Ash Williams fanboys were initially up in arms over the hint hint of a remake. What is this? An Evil Dead movie without Ash? Without chainsaw? Without deadites? WITHOUT BOOMSTICK?!?! Never have I ever been so glad to be more wrong. Fede Alvarez's remake of Sam Raimi's 1981 classic delivered on every single concern I had months ago. But oh, dear sweet Ashley Williams was this one every bit more violent than thirty-two years ago. True story, some light-weight threw up in the theatre I was attending. Luckily, Evil Dead doesn't suffer as much from "too-much-trailer" syndrome. Horror movie wannabes today show way too damn much of the "scary" bits in the trailer, so by the time you catch the flick, you're without any surprises. Yeah, Evil Dead's red-band trailer had plenty to show, but I wasn't as gut-wrenched then as I was when actually watching the film. 

Everything was a definite improvement from the 1981 version for obvious reasons. Bruce Campbell applauded Alvarez for his ability to modernize his debut into acting. In fact, allow me to let him to you himself. 

To be fair to Bruce and Sam, it was the early eighties. Of course you wouldn't have top notch effects and the like. Regardless of what anyone says, they ushered in a series that took the horror/comedy genre mash-up to another level. Not to mention the bad-ass one-liner book went sky-high in the eighties (thank you, Mr. Schwarzeneggar). It's not a shotgun anymore, it's a mother f*ckin' BOOMSTICK! I mean, come on, good......bad......I'm the guy with the gun. 

The acting is what you'd expect from a horror movie.

I hear a noise. It's coming from down that dark and badly lit hallway.

You should go down there.

Really? It seems a little dangerous. 

No, you'll be fine. We're all right here where it's perfectly safe. 

OH, DEAR JESUS! I'M BEING POSSESSED BY SOME DEMON SHIT THAT ASSHOLE WITH THE GLASSES UNLEASHED! YOU SHOULD ALL BE AFRAID OF ME NOW INSTEAD OF THINKING I HAVE MENTAL ISSUES! 

Luckily, the movie was peppered with those moments where it's gory as all f*ck, but you can't help but laugh to keep from crying or screaming. And believe me, this Evil Dead spares no expense when it comes to the overall buckets o'blood scare tactic. It's like that one scene in Family Guy: 

It truly is everywhere. Alvarez probably thought what can I do to these actors? Pour every form of blood on them in the worst, most insanely gross ways imaginable. Now, I really don't want to get all story-happy for obvious reasons. If you've seen the original, then you know the premise. Demon-craft, chainsaw, boomstick. Bada-bing. For this Evil Dead, I will definitely score it as follows: if you've seen the original and want to see a thirty-two year later version with blood on blood action, then get the f*ck off the couch and see this movie. If you've seen the original and are happy with Ash, don't worry about the remake. If you've never heard of Evil Dead, Ashley Williams, Bruce Campbell, or Sam Raimi............well, first off welcome to the real world and please, go see the original three films and top it off with a blood-soaked cherry of a movie. 

Both Jurassic Park 3D and Evil Dead deserve a high-five from Borat. 

In other nerd news, Django Unchained and Injustice: Gods Among Us release a week from this Tuesday, 16 April. A while back, I posted my review of Tarantino's latest peak in Hollywood, so check it out if you've not seen the Academy Award winning feature. I'll have more news on Injustice as the date draws near, but I can say this now after playing the demo: Batman and Wonder Woman seem relatively balanced as far as ranged and close-combat with Batman acting like Scorpion (the whole Bat-claw grappler move) and Lex Luthor might not be everyone's favorite heavy-hitter. He's pretty slow and hard to work with in-game. Wonder Woman is a delight with ranged attacks via the Lasso of Truth and her sword/shield combo. Personally, I'll probably chill with Green Lantern or Sinestro at first. I'll have the mid-tier collector's edition featuring Wonder Woman and Batman going at each other's throats atop the Fortress of Solitude. Expect only my wondrous description via text. I'll try for video this time if I don't botch the script royally like Tomb Raider or Bioshock: Infinite. Honestly, filming anything Han-style (solo) is complicated. 

Catch it late or on time only on The Late Duck.