Welcome back, dear readers! Let's dive right into the new and shiny 2013! As you've been quite aware (if you were even aware in the first place) this blog has suffered from dormancy these past two months. While the explanation would set straight any questions, let's just stick with 1) finishing my undergraduate degree, 2) Christmas chaos, and 3) an unfortunate death in the family.
So, without further ado, welcome to The Late Duck 3.0! Why the number three? I have no idea. It's 2013. Makes more sense. What have I missed out on in my quest for knowledge? Well, quite a substantial amount, it seems.
1) Every single movie since Skyfall. Work + school = zero time for movies. And I mean zero. I haven't seen Wreck it Ralph, Les Miserables, Django Unchained, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, and any other film you can fathom. Twilight part whatever doesn't count.
2) Although I missed out on 2012's last batch of cinematic goodness, I managed time for the final gaming heavy-hitters. Black Ops II and Halo 4 found their way into my free-time and this is what I have to say: Frank Woods is still a bad-ass, I had to restart multiple levels for the "perfect" ending, and zombies excels more than ever. Now, for Master Chief, 343 Studios.........what the f*ck happened, guys? Couldn't take a hint from Bungie to make a kick-ass game? My brother and I beat the damn game on Legendary in less than two days! The campaign was significantly shorter than 3, ODST, and Reach to the point where I finally caught on what was happening when the f*cking credits were rolling. Amazing cinematic cutscenes and dialogue, but I wanted more SPARTAN-IV action, better weaponry (Forerunner weapons=direct cut-and-paste from humans), more detail in the story (more information on the Flood, perhaps?), and an overall expansion on the new characters introduced. After watching up to part three of Forward Unto Dawn, I had a shred of knowledge as to who Lasky was, but nothing else. 343, at least tell us to read the damned expanded universe (i.e. comics, books, short films) before we dive head-first and expect to understand the Forerunner background. Both games were impressive, but easily replaceable by 2013's line-up.
3) Back in November, my initial review of Assassin's Creed III was generally positive. I'm here two months later to refute that claim. This game failed on every front I was hyped up on. Connor was a whiny bitch who complained every time he didn't get his way and I found myself relating more with Haytham. The stories (past and present) were laughable. I've always disliked the present-day telling of Desmond fighting the modern-day Templars. When the first game came out, I saw Altair and the Crusades. Nothing else. This entire series could've been done sans-present and still succeeded. ACIII's portrayal of the American Revolution and its respective figures was pathetic. I expected Benjamin Franklin to be ACIII's version of da Vinci. Instead, I found myself utilizing the basic tools rather than upgrading to something more substantial (Assassin tomahawk, for the most part). With ACII, Ezio, and da Vinci, I enjoyed the ability to garner more fantastic kills with more advanced weapons and tools. Granted, the rope dart was awesome, but everything else (the bow, pistols, and rifles) seemed out of place in such a fast-paced series. Ezio and Altair carved through droves of enemies with such fluid pace while Connor constantly stumbled around trying to pick up his f*cking tomahawk. ACIII's inclusion of naval warfare was impressive, but also plagued with bugs/glitches. Late into the game (around 1781), I remembered one naval mission that still needed completing.........back in 1776. The game's timeline couldn't catch up to save its life. And the economy system.........f*ck that noise. I preferred and became accustomed to ACII's renovation/collect revenue system. Instead, I went through Boston finding chests and marching platoons to kill/loot. This was the only way I found effective to upgrade the Aquila.
Don't even get me started on the end. What the hell, Ubisoft?
4) I brought myself up-to-speed with The Walking Dead game and series. Season Two really wasn't as bad as I thought. The beginning and end were amazing, but the middle was relentlessly boring. Season Three, on the other hand, dear sweet things of everything holy! They've taken zombie killing to another level. Sorry, Romero, you've been trumped. I can truly say at this point two things: the month of my birth will be incredible with the series' return and I'm back to a full TWD fan. Now, the same can be said of Telltale's survival video game.........and then some. Lee's journey from heading to prison to ensuring Clementine's safety was gut-wrenching, tear-jerking, jaw-clenching, and comical in some parts. If Telltale's tossing out another season, I'm on that faster than a jack rabbit on a hot Texan summer.
5) Bioshock: Infinite was delayed! Initially coming out late next month, we're now faced with a 26 March release. Oh, Ken Levine. Won't you give us your nice toys, please? Songbird edition pre-ordered. What up.
Alright, dear readers, I think you've had me long enough for Day 1 of this strange, new year. But, as a late Christmas present, here's one of those darling rules of what DO you do with a BA in English:
#333- Build a tower of all the books you bought during Half Price Book's 20% deal.
Jonesy signing off for the first time in 2013.
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