Solo.
2) I really need a f*cking job. Not much to explain there other than I'm done with retail.
3) I really should stop bitching about my lack of a career and get on with the damn review of Bioshock: Infinite.
This game pulled a fast one on me. Not sure about the general population, but wow. Ken Levine and the rest of 2K/Irrational Games put their all into this AAA title. Apart from Tomb Raider earlier in the month, video game narratives have been lacking severely. When stacked up to these titles, you might as well take franchises like Battlefield and Call of Duty out back and shoot them Old Yeller style. I would cry in this instance, but that'd be like shedding a tear for Hitler. Narratives in today's video game just don't make the cut. The lingering shadow of multiplayer or cooperative play (decent in some cases i.e. Portal 2) hangs over most games like the pollution in Los Angeles. You know who you are publishers and developers (hint hint: Activision, EA). For the last goddamn time, no, we don't want another Medal of Honor game with a short-ass campaign and equally shoddy multiplayer. Battlefield, eh, they're starting to push it same with Call of Duty. EA, Activision, Treyarch, and even Infinity Ward (even though it pains me to list them) can't realize the fact that multiplayer is short-lived. Honestly, who's still thoroughly enjoying blasting away the same pixelized representations of terrorists and/or zombies unless it's with one's friends? Bungie fortunately realized this fate of video games and ended their hold on the Halo franchise. Gee, thanks 343, for giving us the worst Halo game since Halo Wars. Cortana deserved better, you bastards!!!!!!!!!
Alright, rant over. Let's jump into what I promised a couple days ago. Bioshock: Infinite released back on Tuesday and I've spaced out my gaming time to last at least a few days. I wouldn't say I was disappointed with the overall length seeing as how most of the game was blazed through like a California wildfire. Woohoo, marathon gaming sessions! It's a miracle what a bottle of scotch and Dr. Pepper can do to make marathons bearable again. Keep in mind, the last marathon I did was Mass Effect 2 clocking in at two nine hour straight marathons. No wonder I beat that game so damn fast.
The Ultimate Songbird Edition, for the money, was well worth the investment. The hard cover limited edition strategy guide goes the same. All-in-all, I dropped about $200 for this game and haven't look back one damn bit. Good ol' Songbird himself was a wee shorter than I imagined, but the quality and weight are exactly what I expected. The Murder of Crows keychain was definitely a great touch; however, I wish they did a blind box with the vigor. Getting a Shock Jockey keychain would've been even better, but who cares. Haven't downloaded the soundtrack yet. After playing through and beating the game, I'm looking forward to having it added to my library.
Infinite in and of itself was a polished and well-written game. I had zero doubts walking into the first few minutes and the same was said walking out of the last few minutes. Taking control of Booker felt similar to the silent-silent from Bioshock, but Delta from Bioshock 2 took the gameplay to a heavier level. Literally, the guy had a drill for Christ's sake. Plowing that into some poor bastard's head was about the same satisfaction I found using the Skyhook to decapitate some dumbass Vox that stepped in my way. I really can't bring myself to divulge much into the story for fear of revealing the slightest spoiler. This much can be said: the ending is one of the greatest, most surprising "WHAT THE F*CK?!?!" moments in modern gaming history. Yes, a certain something from Bioshock's past makes an appearance and it's bigger than a Big Daddy.
The Vigors work identical to Plasmids with a nice touch in the form of trapping enemies in the various effects. Hold L2 down on the PS3 and unfortunate foes can fall into a lightning trap, crow trap, possession trap, et cetera, et cetera. Tonics are replaced with Gear which are essentially articles of clothing such as hats, pants, shirts, and the like. You're only allotted one of each at a given time, so mix-and-match to your heart's content. I was quite content with the first few I received and rarely switched out my combat bonuses. As Vigors go, Shock Jockey was my preferred method of dispatching my Columbian adversaries. Upgrade the effect to the chain combo, then blast your enemy's head clean off with a shotgun or machine gun. Now, while I mainly used the pistol, shotgun, machine gun, and carbine, the repeater was a fantastic weapon to come across. I miss the ability to upgrade each individual weapon, but the more diverse selection of firepower more than made up for that absence. Undertow was a rather interesting way of grabbing foes from afar, then blasting them over the side to the unknown below. I rarely used Bucking Bronco or Charge. Possession was useful when I fell short a few Silver Eagles as you can take control of vending machines for a financial bonus. Devil's Kiss came down to nothing but potshots, but when paired with Murder of Crows, your flock of murderous fowl became flaming wings of death. Elizabeth's ability to open "Tears" or rifts in the time-space continuum came in handy on numerous occasions. No cover in a firefight? Have her bring in a wall from Paris or the adjacent building. Need a helping hand? Have her bring in a Mosquito sentry or Rocket Automaton. Need weapons, first aid, or salts? She's got you covered, mes amis.
This brings me to my next wonderful point: Elizabeth doesn't need your protection! She's a fully functional AI that 1) never gets in your goddamn way, 2) picks locks in an instant, and 3) finds weapons, ammunition, money, health packs, and salts whenever you're low. This is the pinnacle of artificial intelligence. Non-playable characters that help rather than hinder your experience. Oh, not to mention, she revives you whenever your dumbass self bites the dust. She comes at a cost, though, taking a bit of Eagles and reviving half the enemy's health. Just jump back in, shock the piss out of the Handyman, and blow that f*cker's heart out with the China Broom. Problem solved every time.
Moving on to performance, consoles take a hit on graphics while PC users have the full array of graphical capabilities. Take this with a grain of salt as it's been seven years since the first Bioshock hit the 360 (back when Microsoft had exclusives). Irrational got a little over-zealous with character models, background environments, and animation. I'm not complaining in the slightest, but take consoles that are out-modes compared to today's PC rigs and you've got a no-brainer. PC also has the benefit of multiple hot-keys for Vigors and weapons. In essence, if you're PC, get it for your rig. If not, you will still enjoy the game as much as I did regardless of your system.
I want you to fill in the rest of the gaps with your own experience in Columbia. Infinite is truly worth your time and money. From the voice acting provided by Troy Baker and Courtnee Draper (Booker DeWitt and Elizabeth respectively) to the streets and sights of Columbia itself to the graphic take-downs with the Skyhook to the empowered feeling of the Vigors, Bioshock: Infinite truly re-invents the franchise while still remaining loyal to the source material. I proudly bestow upon Bioshock: Infinite the Crashed Moose award and the Jonesy Couch Rating of "Get the f*ck off your ass and buy this damn game!". Congratulations, 2K and Irrational. You've done the gamer community well.....again.
Bioshock: Infinite- the third recipient of the Crashed Moose!
I leave you now with the hopes that AMC will knock one out of the park with The Walking Dead's Season 3 finale. While a surprisingly beloved character is no longer with us, his legacy shall forever live on. Oh, please, please, please! Cut Rick's hand off! Let Tyreese live to see Season 4! And let Michonne wreck the Governor the f*ck up!
One last bit. The Wolverine, due in theatres this July, finally dished out two trailers. I'll give you the US trailer. Enjoy as billions of others already have!
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