Those brave enough to balance fifteen or more hour semesters with a full-time job, I proudly stand beside you and shame the several living this so-called 'college experience'. Aside from this rant, let's get on with the show.
Well, after a two month hiatus, sabbatical, R&R, or as I personally call it, my own personal Hell, I establish my long-awaited return to this social blogging scene. Not like anyone's reading the nonsensical babble unless I count my various altered personalities. Two are British, one's Irish, and the other German.
What happened these past couple months, you ask? Allow me to enlighten.
1) Borderlands 2, upon two months of ravenous gameplay, is astounding. From the various baubles to the latest Captain Scarlett DLC, Gearbox and 2K f*cking delivered on every promise. Attention video game developers! THIS IS HOW YOU DO A GODDAMN SEQUEL! Pay more attention to the motherf*cking story and less on a throw-away multiplayer. Treyarch, I'm pointing at you. Seriously. I can't even begin to remember a Call of Duty in which the multiplayer outlasted its successor. Same with Halo. EA and Battlefield managed to overcome this by actually ADDING to their multiplayer. Hello, DESTRUCTIBLE ENVIORNMENT, how are you today? Oh, you want me to DRIVE A TANK THROUGH THE ENEMY BUILDING?! Sure, why not and while I'm at it, I can call an ARTILLERY STRIKE TO LEVEL THE ADJACENT BUILDING! Did I see that in any Call of Duty? HA-HA-F*CKING-HA! I make myself laugh in all caps.
This would really work better in video format....
Oh, well.....onward!
2) Dishonored and Resident Evil 6: the two games that came out within a week of each other. Please, buy them now. Get your friends to help you with RE 6. For the love of all things holy and good in the world. GET SOMEONE TO HELP YOU!!! I'm pretty sure I nearly wet myself going solo.
3) I shell out for collector's editions. You've seen the nerd-swag available with past editions. Ubisoft didn't disappoint. Assassin's Creed III was totally worth dropping a cool $120 just like B-Lands II and it's $150 tag. While I'm just twenty percent into the game, I can already tell Ubisoft has done right with the fan-base. Without spoiling the game, vive la revolution!
4) February just became very expensive. Alien: Colonial Marines has the date for the twelfth and Bioshock: Infinite stole the twenty-third. Behold, my friends! The $150 Songbird edition! Statue, keychain, figurine, art book, poster, coins, lithograph, oh, my circuits are over-loading! All packaged within era-appropriate boxing! BUY! BUY! BUY!!!! 5) Don't judge me, but no, I've yet to see any new releases since the end of summer.
6) The scores to all the above games:
Borderlands 2- get off your f*cking ass and buy this
Dishonored- you must be batshit crazy if you're not thinking about buying this game
Resident Evil Six- it's great in the feel of survival horror, but in no way is this a rush-to-buy. I waited a week which says quite a bit.
Assassin's Creed III- who wouldn't enjoy killing Redcoats in assassin-y styled fashions? Buy it now. You can make amends with your bank account later.
7) Halo 4 and Black Ops II launch next week. Cools, but don't feel compelled on either. Feel free to go nuts. Halo 4 scored a 9.8 from IGN, so it's probably legit. COD goes near-futuristic gaming? Meh, I'll stick to my guns in 2142. Better gameplay.
Who wants another rule for tonight? I do.
#412- When writing poetry, write for yourself. Professors, unless they're like Robin Williams in Dead Poet's Society, can suck it up and accept the fact not everyone's as pleasantly depressing as f*cking Sylvia Plath. No wonder the bitch killed herself. Props to Ted Hughes.
Oh, one last thing.
Yeah, that's Max Brooks. Not only did I meet him, but also the Mythbusters. Now I know how to properly dispose of zombies with heavy explosives! See, science CAN be fun!
Alright, world, Jonesy's signing off.
