To Boldly Go...

We'll get to Stark Trek: Into Darkness in just a hot second. 

Zombieland was probably the last greatest zombie flick....nearly four years ago. A movie so incredibly bombastic knew it had concluded its story and well at that end. Woody Harrelson stole the show as Tallahassee with Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin bringing up the sides in their own styles. Even Bill Murray dropped by for a brief moment, but....we all know how that turned out. 

Why the f*ck would a TV series based in the same universe need to exist? Same characters, same backstory, same Twinkies. Here's the catch: no Harrelson, Eisenberg, Stone, or Breslin....or Murray (hey, he could be a legit zombie this time). This is where Amazon stepped in to bring a mess of new original series to the masses. As one of them, Zombieland: The Series premiered last month to mostly negative reviews. Hell, fans of the movie were hating on the idea long before Amazon picked it up for debut. A Zombieland without Woody Harrelson chainsawing flesh-eaters? That's like taking Andrea's graphic novel bad-assitude and completely ditching it in the Walking Dead series. Oh, right, they f*cking did. For some unknown reason, the creators of a fan-loved idea find the bright idea to adapt to another media to grasp another audience. What's that? It's the same goddamn audience? Well, no shit. A Zombieland series done right would bring back the original cast and go through the exact same schtick these new jacks did in the pilot. Sorry, Kirk Ward, you're not Woody Harrelson. 

I sat with my phone and watched the half-hour pilot. While getting to know a wee bit of Tallahassee pre-undead uprising (even though it was going on right behind them) was a smidgen interesting, I just couldn't understand why. I know his background. He had a son. He lost his son. He went on a zombie-killing f*cking rampage. I'm set. SPOILER: Harrelson definitely could have pulled off Tallahassee's rant inside the factory building or whatever it was more effectively than Ward. More f-bombs, more shit about Twinkies, and more Columbus getting under his skin. However, the Zombie-Kill-of-the-Week was pretty clever and being a native Texan having it set in Ft Worth was schweet. Imagine rolling one of those giant billiard-looking balls you find on gas station signs down a parking garage and laughing as the zombie becomes red mush. 

Ultimately, the series wasn't picked up for obvious reasons. Pre-debut fan backlash doesn't really safeguard the life of a TV show. Maybe a Zombieland sequel with the original cast would work, Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick. 

My overall score of the Zombieland: The Series pilot- Sit back on the couch, toss the movie in, and enjoy more decorative zombie-killing. 

Yes, yes, yes, we're getting closer to  Star Trek. How I Met Your Mother finally ended back on Monday and I couldn't be happier. Honestly. Season eight was, in so few words, unbearable. Show creators Carter Bays and Craig Thomas were beating a dead horse with a broken record from episode one back in September. The Autumn of Break-ups, Victoria coming back to Ted, Barney proposing to Robin, Ted still not being over Robin, and annoying uses of fourth-wall jokes. For a show that's never used lame slap-stick, Bays/Thomas lathered the mess all over. This season only had a handful of memorable moments with the only three being Marshall's last bag of skittles, the past/present/future Teds and Barneys cover of Billy Joel's The Longest Time, and the final installment in the Robin Sparkles legacy. 

The Bros

Daggers

I can't remember anything more memorable than the above three moments. How I Met Your Mother has been a story of recollection after recollection involving events that are equally great to recall to friends or on Tuesday night trivia at Buffalo Wild Wings. Season eight and, unfortunately, Season nine will go down in the series' history as the weakest segments. I hate admitting that to one of my beloved shows, but come on, they're running out of gas at this point. Something Old, Something New, I don't care anymore! I want the mother. I want the wedding. I want the damn end to the story! 

Luckily, we were given one of the requests in the form of the actual Mother with yellow umbrella and bass guitar in tow. Cristin Milioti was revealed as Ted's definitive future wife. As a series regular for the final showdown, she'll be actively engaged with every main character throughout the season leading up to her meet-up with good ol' Schmosby. If you don't believe me take a look. 

Scroll to 1:10 if you're too impatient

Indeed miracles can occur. She's real and this mess is finally going down! This was the highlight of Season eight. That yellow umbrella wasn't enough for me. I had to see it all and we finally have. Hot damn and praise Allah! Oh, wait...

Be sure to attend the (ill-fated?) wedding in the ninth and final season of How I Met Your Mother this September. I'll be on board with all of you the entire way. 

As for my final say on Season eight...I wash my hands of it with a six of ten. 

In the immortal words of Heath Ledger's Joker......and here we.......go. If the above wasn't indication enough, Star Trek: Into Darkness is officially in theatres as of today. Most theatres were showing the film as early as Wednesday which I found quite odd as trailers, posters, and every bit of media detailed a 17 May 2013 launch. But, who cares? I caught the 9:10 show last night, had my Cherry Coke, and full attention glued to the silver screen. How was my dedication rewarded? How will yours? Graciously, I say. Abso-positively-lutely graciously rewarded....wow, far too many -ly endings. 

If you haven't already seen the film: SPOILER ALERT!!!!! 

Into Darkness drops audiences right into the fray on the planet Nibiru with Kirk and Bones fleeing from an indigenous species. Spock quickly joins the party tasked with neutralizing an active volcano threatening to destroy the natives. Kirk ignores the Prime Directive by saving Spock from almost certain death and, incidentally, reveals the Enterprise to a species that has barely reached primitive assemblage (Pike akins this to the caveman's creation of the wheel). 

Kirk faces a chain of bad luck with a demotion to First Officer and Spock reassigned to another vessel. In London, a mysterious figure brings about a terrorist attack against a Starfleet Archives library. We find out this man is John Harrison, an agent of Starfleet. Admiral Pike chastises Kirk for his brash behavior and blatant ignorance of Starfleet policies. Kirk attempts justifying his actions as he's yet to lose anyone under his command. During a meeting with Admiral Alexander Marcus and the rest of Starfleet high command, Pike and several others are killed in an attack by an unknown gunship piloted by Harrison himself. Kirk, returned to his post as captain of the Enterprise, takes Spock and co on the hunt for this terrorist. 

Harrison has fled to none other than Chronos, the Klingon homeworld. Before departing from Earth, Scotty faces his own personal dilemma as news of seventy-two highly explosive nuclear warheads appear onboard the Enterprise. Without knowing the contents of the weapons and hearing Kirk's opposition to abandon them, Scottie resigns as Chief Engineering Officer thus putting Chekov into the position. 

I'll stop with the spoilers there for obvious reasons. Into Darkness dives into some deep Trek lore which I, for the life of me, can't even bare to ruin for die-hard fans. J.J. Abrams clearly spared no expense going all-out on this venture. All of the original actors are back with Benedict Cumberbatch presenting himself as John Harrison and Alice Eve as Carol Marcus/Wallace, Kirk's love interest and a Science Officer with Starfleet. The acting is solid for Chris Pine (Kirk), Zachary Quinto (Spock), and Cumberbatch. You could say he almost steals the show as Harrison, but that would be unfair to the stellar performances from everyone else. We don't get much as far as the remaining crew: John Cho (Sulu), Zoe Saldana (Uhura), and Anton Yelchin (Chekov). Simon Pegg (Scotty) receives an interesting side-story which I personally enjoyed and found quite comical. Coming from the Raging Redshirt, I expected no less than comedy, but Pegg put in a personal side to Scotty showing his reluctance to believe the established word on a matter. 

Sound came through booming from the soundtrack returning from the first movie to the phasers, languages, and photon torpedoes chewing into the hull of the Enterprise. Films like Into Darkness need to be seen in theatre to enjoy the full, immersive sound of the environment throughout each scene. 

The overall aesthetic of Into Darkness came through even more than the first. Nibiru's lush red landscape acted as the perfect contrast to Chronos' weathered, war-torn appearance. The Enterprise opened up a bit more this time around to show off Engineering in her absolute gorgeous beauty. Abrams made sure that when you sit down to this film, especially in 3D, you're strapped in with the crew for a two hour roller coaster. 

 In no way did I leave the theatre wanting more or feeling dejected or bereft. Into Darkness delivered on its premise and then some ending in what I believe as yet another perfect segway into a sequel. While Abrams may be starting work on Episode VII, don't count him out just yet for his contribution to the new and improved Star Trek universe. 

I will conclude my review by saying get off the f*cking couch and see this damn film. 

Stay tuned next week for the exciting end to the Wolfpack with The Hangover Part III.

Catch it late or on time only on The Late Duck. 

Hello, Old Sport

I don't know what the protocol is when you literally get hit by a truck. No, I don't mean "I'm in my car and the truck collided with me". I mean "I'm on my bicycle and the truck literally hits me". German brawn and some heavy dose of dumbass Irish luck are the only two factors I'm playing in this equation that kept me from a funeral pyre or several weeks laying contentedly on a hospital bed waiting for something worse to happen.

Alas, fortune shines upon me. And no, this wasn't an elaborate tale to evoke sympathy from your dear, sweet hearts. Yes, my esteemed readers, I am living proof that exercise just might kill you. Stay on that couch. Turn on the television. Watch some lame action movie stamped and approved by the blind members of the 1980s Motion Picture Association of America. How in all hell Rambo made it past pre-production I will never know. 

As I rest before a vibrant computer monitor sipping my handmade whiskey sour, several thoughts race through a calmed conscious. What movies would I have missed? What games? Television shows premiering in the coming weeks? Would I eventually read the increasingly large stack of comics collecting dust in the vast abyss I care to call a room? Fate knew my constant desire for cinematography must be sated on a monthly basis. The universe, God, destiny, whatever the f*ck you want to call the mess knew I had to partake in the consumer end of the entertainment industry. 

While the above ramble is all true (I honestly did get hit by a truck), let's move onto more interesting matters. 

Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby hit theatres yesterday and I have witnessed his wonders. Critics have been going through the motions accusing the film of being more "style over substance" than dragging out the story with character development in order to convey more sympathy to viewers. I can agree on only a fraction of the statement. Luhrmann's work has included some of my least favorite adaptations (Romeo+Juliet) to one of the best musicals (Moulin Rouge) and an incredible extremely-loosely-based-on-a-true-story films (Australia): the Japanese bombing of Darwin. 

Allow me this tangent to help bolster my following point. The Lost Generation has been one of the key influential literary periods in world literature. I would clarify American literature to that end, but who on this earth hasn't heard of Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Stein, or at least Eliot? Their descriptions of life before, during, and after the Great War brought definition to a generation burdened by death, pain, suffering, and of all things, alcoholism. For our group of American expatriates including Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald, Gertrude Stein, John Dos Passos, and Thomas Stearns Eliot, they owned this golden era. The 1920s belonged to writers, singers, dancers, musicians, painters, and artists of any genre. Through drinking and dancing to fighting and writing, these individuals sought to dive into the worlds that troubled them in order to hopefully escape them. 

Fitzgerald penned The Great Gatsby in 1925, the heyday of the Roaring Twenties. Parties clamored every night. Liquor, beer, wine, and champagne flowed in rivers down the streets of New York and Paris. Socialites swarmed to any area teeming with fellow night owls prowling for the next luminescent oasis. The Charleston crowded dance halls world-wide. Paris lit up the night sky. New York rarely shut off its welcoming nightly glow. We, as the unfortunate readers of this modern era, are introduced to these extravagant evenings by narrator Nick Carraway, a World War One veteran and bond broker living in Long Island, New York. Fitzgerald takes his novel as an opportunity to visualize the American image of the 1920s. In his other short stories and novels, he sheds light on the Parisian side of the coin where one could say the Twenties shined immensely. 

Carraway immediately takes an interest in his mysterious neighbor who hosts nightly parties with no apparent cause for celebration. Daisy, Carraway's cousin, and her old-money husband, Tom Buchanan  reside across the bay in the fictional neighborhood of East Egg (Nick lives in West Egg). On the Buchanan dock stands a lone green spotlight shining out onto the bay. Quite often, Nick spots a figure standing on the dock reaching out to the light as if he's longing for something lost. This man of mystery is none other than the enigmatic Jay Gatsby, a man of new money and in constant desire to surround himself with curious company. Carraway is eventually invited to one of Gatsby's extraordinary soirees where he finally encounters Gatsby himself. The pair recall serving together in the war as part of the same machine gun battalion. As Nick quickly descends into this company, he finds his life taking a turn for the surreal. 

And that's where the story spoilers come to a screeching halt. If you didn't read this in Junior-level English.......well, let's say it should've been on your priority reading list for the following summers. I promised a point would be made out of the above paragraphs. 

Fitzgerald grasped what he knew from the Twenties and molded them into what we read as The Great Gatsby. Parties, alcohol, romance, domestic abuse, fast cars, and the freedom to do whatever the f*ck anyone wanted stormed rampant across the globe. Needless to say, finding the right cinematic elements to portray this lifestyle would take a hefty sum of creative thought. The 1974 version starring Sam Waterson as Nick Carraway, Mia Farrow as Daisy, and Robert Redford as the titular Gatsby performed admirably for its time. I viewed the film years ago and felt only a fraction of the emotions as when reading the novel. Baz Luhrmann comes along thirty plus years later to breathe life back into the filmed adaptation genre of movie-making. 

Tobey Maguire's casting as Carraway had me worried. I found Waterson's performance dry, emotionless, and above all, boring. However, when paired with Leonardo DiCaprio's Gatsby, I quickly became as much a believer as Carraway did an alcoholic. His narration of the events both in 1929 and 1922 (we first meet Nick in a sanitarium as he recalls the events seven years prior) felt as if I was turning the pages again. You can hear the change in tone as the film goes back-and-forth in time. Carraway's burned-out narration quickly shifts to vibrant and youthful as he begins writing his story. I loved that part especially. Luhrmann and his team of graphic designers literally took excerpts from the novel and displayed them throughout the movie as part of Carraway's narration. Make no mistake. This is Baz Luhrmann at one of his finest moments in film direction. 

I have to get onto DiCaprio's performance. Here's an actor I could not bare for the sake of anything holy. Titanic, The Beach, please no. But Catch Me If You Can, Blood Diamond, The Departed, Shutter Island, Inception, Django Unchained, and now his portrayal as Jay Gatsby has me thoroughly impressed. His accent which I can only put at a mid-west meets New Yorker sells Gatsby as a believable character. The famous words "old sport" come up more times than the f-bomb in a Tarantino flick. One might get overly annoyed at the use, but coming from DiCaprio everything works fine. When I think of Gatsby, Tony Stark comes to mind: billionaire, playboy, not so much philanthropist, but you get the idea. We see this image of Gatsby, but you know there's another character beneath. You see James Gatz, the man he was and couldn't continue living under a nothing-name. Through hope, as Carraway described Gatsby (the most hopeful man he ever met), he sought to re-invent himself as means to win back parts of the life he lost as result of the war. DiCaprio took this character and could've done anything. Gatsby's suave demeanor, his cool swagger were embodied by DiCaprio and helped to compliment the cast as a whole. 

Joel Edgerton as Tom Buchanan was a flawless casting. The triangle between his character, Carey Mulligan's Daisy, and Gatsby could not have been played out better. When he finally voiced his frustration over a certain matter in an undisclosed hotel room, DiCaprio boomed with gusto. Joel's Tom can easily be set as the novel and film's main antagonist, but I've developed my own theory over time. 

Each character becomes their own antagonist. Nick begins as a modest broker starting out in New York. As the story progresses, his decision to fall in with Gatsby and the party scene start weighing him down emotionally, mentally, and physically. He lives this rambunctious life to the point in which he becomes disgusted by the scene and those who partake. Gatsby's obsession with restarting the past by reconnecting with Daisy ultimately brings him down in the end. Daisy's inability to cope with pressure leads to a climatic accident. Tom's infidelity nearly comes to a head until Daisy inadvertently silences his problem. Even George Wilson, the poor gas station clerk/mechanic succumbs to revenge while his wife, Myrtle, also pays for her carelessness. Case in point: no one gets out clean. 

In this argument over style over substance, I can see how the critics viewed the decision as a flaw. However, a story like Gatsby needs that type of insomnia-inducing vibe. Don't turn out the lights, play the music louder, toss confetti relentlessly, and let the champagne bottles burst like fountains. Parties in the Twenties weren't casual get-togethers. They were as full of life as the people who attended them. Some were war veterans, some were bond brokers, some were bloody rich, and some were bloody tired of their mundane lives. These parties allowed anyone of any financial or social standing to express themselves without fear, concern, or worry of what will happen tomorrow. Luhrmann made damn sure to show this in every scene Gatsby threw a party. And yet, no matter how many random attendees, open liquor bottles, or wildly danced Charlestons, one individual would always feel unfulfilled: Gatsby. 

The City of Ashes was one of my favorite settings in the novel. This mid-point between East and West Egg was plagued by constant industrialism. Nothing but ash and machines and, of course, George Wilson and his modest garage. The "eyes" on the optometrist billboard were a warming touch to see. I would've felt a sense of incomplete had those eyes not been present. 

My final note in what must seem an almost endless ramble is the soundtrack. Composed by Jay-Z of all people, the sounds of the 1920s jazz blends well with modern hip-hop. Some would say (myself included) that the combination doesn't sit well together. This was not the case. I went along with the film tapping my foot all the while. 

In a post script, Isla Fisher and Elizabeth Debicki as Myrtle Wilson and Jordan Baker were rather enjoyable in their parts. While Myrtle's role in the story isn't show-stealing, Fisher worked in her sex appeal to show why Tom had an interest. Jordan Baker, Nick's "love" interest, didn't really play out fully enough for me to believe any connection would be present. These minor characters still represent major points in the story, but not enough time went into developing their integrity. 

I'm quite exhausted at the current time, so if anything sounds completely and utterly incomprehensible, my deepest apologies are sent your way. Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby does indeed give precedence to style over substance, but still allows the story to unfold without a hitch. Performances from Maguire, DiCaprio, Edgerton, and Mulligan push each conflict to its extreme to show viewers the immensity that was the Roaring Twenties. From the rich, vibrant parties of Gatsby's West Egg mansion to the dull, grimy industrialism of the City of Ashes, Luhrmann has done justice to Fitzgerald's most reputable novel and American literature's best celebrated work. If you love the Lost Generation as much as this kid does, take my advice. 

Get the f*ck off the couch and see this damn film. 

The Great Gatsby, starring Tobey Maguire, Leonardo DiCaprio, Joel Edgerton, and Carey Mulligan, earns an eight of ten. 

Goodbye, old sport. 

In Iron Clad

Five years have passed since Iron Man graced theatres in 2008. Marvel's cinematic universe had finally begun. Iron Man 2 came along two years later toting Black Widow and hints of Thor and Captain America via clever easter eggs. However, in both films, Tony Stark was merely the man behind the armor. The Avengers spent more time focusing on the group as a whole while taking a few turns giving each member some independent screen time. It wasn't until 12:01 central standard time in Denton, Texas that I finally saw Stark at his most vulnerable, raw state. Don't get me wrong. This is still very much so Iron Man only with a hefty amount of character development. 

The story itself takes place some time after the events of the Avengers. How much time you ask? Well, enough for Stark to manufacture some plus or minus forty Iron Man variations. Tony's fallen into extreme panic attacks while trying to experiment with his suits and maintain his relationship with Pepper which is now faltering due to his obsession with perfecting the Iron Man suit. Tony now has the ability to call each individual piece to his body similar to how the wristbands worked in the Avengers. This small little scene harkens back to the first movie when he tested the repulsor strength on the second suit. Several new characters are introduced and are detailed below. Rebecca Hall comes in as Dr. Maya Hansen, an old flame of Stark's and inventor of the Extremis virus. This story focuses on Tony outside of the suit; vulnerable, beaten, weary, and trying to come to terms with his near-death experience in New York. His back-and-forth with ten year-old Harley was a fun bit of comic relief just to remind us this is still the same quick-witted, cynical, arrogant, yet kind-hearted (sort of) Tony Stark. 

Oh, this? I just wear it around the house

Shane Black taking the helm was a fantastic move. Jon Favreau directed the previous two films and put the happy in Happy Hogan. He knew what to do, how to do it, and why it needed to be done. Now, with Black finishing out the trilogy, the overall feel to the movie was definitely reflective of his cinematography. From Lethal Weapon to Marvel's flagship film series, Shane Black has come quite a long way. This is where the change occurs most. As I spoke earlier, Iron Man 3 is character driven. Not in a heavy sense that bogs down the film, but focusing on those we love and truly care about. 

Robert Downey Jr and Don Cheadle as Tony Stark and James "Rhodey" Rhodes complimented each other very well this time. We had some buddy-buddy moments in Iron Man 2, but once Rhodey went all War Machine on Tony's ass, all bets were off until the end. Lethal Weapon's "buddy cop" theme shined in multiple parts with Stark and Rhodey either shooting up a complex or taking out Extremis-powered henchmen. I enjoyed seeing their friendship a bit more fleshed out this time rather than covered up by Rhodey getting his hands on the soon-to-be War Machine suit. Don Cheadle gets a significant amount more screen time once Downey Jr steps away from the spot light in the form of Tony going MIA. As the Iron Patriot (fully decked out in red, white, and blue), Rhodey tries taking the fight to the Mandarin (a surprising performance by Sir Ben Kingsley) only to little avail. 

I keep thinking Captain America in powered armor

Speaking of Kingsley, the Mandarin is Iron Man's chief villain. An intelligent, menacing, and powerful foe, this character had the opportunity to become a terrifying foe to Stark. What we were given was more a bait-and-switch with Guy Pearce's character, Aldrich Killian, a scientist suffering from multiple debilitating diseases who eventually embraces the Extremis serum granting him regenerative powers as well as super strength and dragon-like qualities (you'll see). This was yet another attempt to re-create Dr. Erskine's formula used on Steve Rogers transforming him into Captain America. 

Pearce turned out to be a formidable foe more towards the end once his story arc came full circle. Until that point, James Badge Dale seemingly taking the role of Eric Savin/Coldblood proved enough of a fight. There comes a point around the middle of the movie when the Stark and Rhodes encounter the Mandarin. This was the biggest surprise of the story. I can't say I was disappointed, but more pleased on how Black worked with these characters. I won't give away any plot details beyond the above stated, but everything occurring between each character comes full circle at the end. You may be slightly confused/annoyed/angry at the mid-point, but trust me, everything works out pretty well. When Stark's so-called "Iron Legion" swings by, shit hits the proverbial fan hard. And I mean, holy f*ck this is f*cking Barney Stinson-style legendary. 

Aw, yeah!!!!!!!!

Iron Man 3 differed from the first two, but its differences made sense and brought the trilogy to a sensible close. I walked away after the must-see post-credits scene feeling satisfied and comfortable that justice was done to one of Marvel's greatest heroes. While it may seem to be dragging its feet through most of the film, Iron Man 3 takes every piece of the suit and assembles it perfectly without a hitch. Whether or not this along with Winter Soldier and Dark Worlds does enough to lead into the Avengers 2 is still up for debate. Tony's changed and the rest of the gang better follow suit. 

Iron Man 3 earns the score of "Get the f*ck off the couch and see this damn movie". 

Stay tuned next week for Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby and Star Trek: Into Darkness on the 17th. 

Catch it late or on time only on The Late Duck.