The last movie I saw him, he was a shirtless rock god
who actually sang his own parts. Kudos, Mr. Cruise.
Oblivion stars Tom Cruise and Morgan Freeman (among others, but let's take a guess who you'll notice first) in a post-apocalyptic Earth. Now, I've been trying not to find out laundry lists of details surrounding the film as to not ruin the story, so don't expect anything until I actually see it today or tomorrow. Given the fact that I have two days off in a row, this kid can finally get back in the cinema swing.
Critics didn't really praise the film and I can honestly see why. How many post-apocalyptic films have we now? Dozens if not more? Yeah, it's a genre that's been blended in a processor multiple times occasionally adding in different spices, but never let it be said they don't entertain the hell out of the general population. Much like zombies and their respective genre, the post-apocalypse film will never die until we actually experience one of those world-ending scenarios. Personally, I want zombies. We'll still have electricity and access to foodstuffs, clean water, and plenty of rage-venting opportunities. Just don't be like The Walking Dead group and get all emotional. Feelings and zombies just don't mix well.
In regards to other previously released movies, I'm really only gunning for 42, the Jackie Robinson biopic. I've always had an affinity for "based on a true story" films that do right by their iconic individual. The Croods, Scary Movie 5, and GI: Joe Retaliation go down on my "Wait/Never see this f*cking film" list.
Next month, however, brings tidings of great joy with Iron Man 3 officially kicking off the Summer film season, despite the fact it's still Spring, and then The Great Gatsby and Star Trek: Into Darkness leading us further into the season. Now, now, don't fret for these two are only the kick-starters to an entire summer of cinematic wonder.
I'd consider myself a huge fan of F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, and T.S. Eliot. More films need to be adapted from their works. Luckily, Baz Luhrmann realized this and gave us the adaptation I've wanted since Robert Redford played the titular Jay Gatsby. I'm more than thrilled for this film almost to the point where I'll have my copy of Fitzgerald's masterpiece in hand whilst viewing its cinematic counterpart.
Go and see Fast and Furious Six if you please, but I'll hold out for The Hangover Part III to finish out the merry month of May. This animated film Epic looked interesting from the trailer, but I can't really say anything else in that regard.
After Earth's trailer didn't do much to bring me in seeing as it's yet another post-apocalyptic film. Will Smith and his son Jaden had an incredible duo in The Pursuit of Happyness, so I'm not all too concerned about they're capability. The director, though, I can't help but worry over. When the f*ck did M. Night Shyamalan dish out a decent film? Oh, right, Signs...over ten f*cking years ago. That's a movie I can watch again without second guessing myself. Critics be damned, I enjoyed that film. The Village was alright, but Signs won in my book.
Much everything else in May is either an Indie flick or foreign. Not to say those will perform poorly, but most likely won't hit my radar. Onward to June!
The Internship brings Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson back which worries me none. While it probably won't go to the Wedding Crashers level, I'm still excited for that pair to make a come back. Much Ado About Nothing, another modernized version of a Shakespeare play, lets Joss Whedon come out to play with Nathan Fillion and Clark Gregg along for the ride among other actors, of course.
This Is the End will, undoubtedly, piss off droves of critics with its senseless comedy revolving around gay, fart, dick, stoner, and celebrity jokes. Who gives a f*ck? Actors are playing themselves in an end-of-the-world scenario. What could go wrong?
Emma Watson f*cking shit up, apparently
I've definitely come down from my haughty movie high-horse in the past couple years. If not, I wouldn't touch this film with an EOS suit on.
Man of Steel. Do I really have to go on? Just....just watch. The latest trailer speaks for itself.
June needs to hurry the f*ck up
The Bling Ring tags along with Man of Steel coming out on the fourteenth and stars Emma Watson in some drug/jewelry ring. All I know is, Hermione's grown up and she looks A-MA-ZING!
Monsters University and World War Z hit exactly a week after the above two. It's been over ten years since Monsters Inc came out and Pixar once again reaffirmed its crazy animation chops, so no concerns there. The original cast is back with John Goodman and Billy Crystal leading the hilarity. Max Brooks' World War Z spans multiple stories of zombie encounters, so I really don't know if Brad Pitt can pull the weight of this movie as well as Brooks wrote his book. I met Max Brooks and asked him the question of whether or not fast-moving zombies actually exist. He laughed and I quote "Fast zombies don't exist!" which answered my question perfectly. That being said, why the f*ck are there ridiculously fast-moving zombies that can topple a goddamn bus and form an undead latter to attack a helicopter? We'll see when June swings around.
Despicable Me 2 and The Lone Ranger head up July coming out on the third. I'm fine with both. Johnny Depp as Tonto? Depp can act like no other actor. I'd never argue with the guy because I know Jack Sparrow would join and I'd tap out gladly.
Guillermo del Toro's Pacific Rim recently came under some heat by action film juggernaut Michael Bay for the film resembling Transformers. F*ck you, Bay. del Toro's giants are mechs piloted by humans fighting weird-ass sea monsters. If anything, it's closer to Monsters vs Aliens except Robots vs Monsters. Regardless of who doesn't care about this film, I certainly do.
Turbo, Red 2, and R.I.P.D are going down on my "watch in theatres list". Turbo, a Dreamworks animation production, stars Ryan Reynolds as a garden snail in pursuit (ha, get it, because they're slow, so pursuit means...oh, nevermind) to become the fastest snail ever. Red 2 brings back Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, and Helen Mirren into the retired spy life. If the sequel is the same or better or has Malkovich screaming with a bomb strapped to his chest again, I'm as giddy as a schoolboy. R.I.P.D also stars Reynolds along with Jeff Bridges. R.I.P.D or the Rest in Peace Department follows the two actors chasing around supernatural villainy hell bent on bringing harm to the living. Sounds like Hellboy and the B.R.P.D.
The Wolverine concludes July in an epic fashion. Hugh Jackman dons the adamantium claws once again for what I'm calling the best X-Men film to date. Will he ditch his mutation or realize it's not so damn bad living forever?
August has some heavy-hitters surprisingly. 300: Rise of an Empire goes away from the bloody field at Thermopylae to the Greek seas where General Themistokles facing similar odds: the might of the Persian fleet led by wannabe god, Xerxes. Eh, I liked 300 more.
If Cockneys vs Zombies hits our shores, then f*ck yeah I'm in!
This is the big one for August. The ninth dishes out Elysium, Niell Blomkamp wrote and directed this sci-fi adventure set in the 22nd century (2159) where Earth is but a ruin and a pristine community, Elysium, houses the super-rich. Free of disease, crime, poverty, or malaise of any kind, those left behind on Earth must find a way to bring those motherf*ckers down. Cue Matt Damon in a powersuit grafted to his body. This suit supposedly has the key to bring Elysium's entire system down. Jodie Foster and Sharlto Copley (who was in Blomkamp's last critical success, District 9) join the cast as antagonists or allies to Damon's character.
Yes, Matt Damon, now you're a bad-ass again.
Pixar's follow-up to Cars, Planes, hits theatres as well starring Steve Carell and Dane Cook. We'll see if Pixar can beat Brave.
Kick-Ass 2 gets bloody again on the sixteenth and I really need to read up on the issues in my collection. Aaron Johnson, Chloe Grace Moretz, and Chistopher Mintz-Plasse all reprise their roles. Jim Carrey dons the persona of Colonel Stars and Stripes in a role I think he'll steal the show with easily.
The World's End will probably my last movie to see this summer. When you have Simon Pegg and Nick Frost in a movie, shit is bound to go down in the worst most comical way possible. If this hits American shores, I'll gladly attend a showing. The story alone sounds like something I'd do and given the fact Edgar Wright is directing, I'll see the damn movie even if I have to ship overseas to London. Five friends gather twenty years after attempting a legendary pub crawl in order to attempt the same feat again (and I suppose successfully this time). If we get the film, go see it. Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost have a natural talent for dishing out amazingly hilarious films.
Well, that about sums it up for the 2013 Summer season. September is technically summer, but I've never counted it part of the Summer cinema season. So, with this knowledge at your disposal, check out all the trailers and catch a majority of these films in theatre. I'll have my reviews for the ones I catch as I see them.
Catch it late or on time only on The Late Duck.
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